In 1978 Audre Lourde wrote an essay called “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic As Power.” In it she aligns the connection we each have to our own bodies (and every little thing that brings us true pleasure and joy) with the level of satisfaction we experience in life overall. She encourages us to step into our senses and discover what we truly want to say “yes” to. Be it an exciting new experience or savoring a meal, you are formally invited to say “yes.”
She asserts that, “We have been raised to fear the ‘yes’ within ourselves, our deepest cravings.” The consequence being, resigning to an unintentional and ultimately dissatisfying life. Lourde claims that “giving in to the fear of feeling and working to capacity is a luxury only the unintentional can afford, and the unintentional are those who do not wish to guide their own destinies.” Therefore, if we are to become sovereign co-creators of our own destiny we must first know what the hell we really like.
And once we do, chile! “Once we know the extent to which we are capable of feeling that sense of satisfaction and completion, we can then observe which of our various life endeavors bring us closest to that fullness. The aim of each thing which we do is to make our lives and the lives of our children richer and more possible.” “Richer and more possible,” y’all.
Release any fear that saying “yes” to a break will derail your life in its entirety. Release the fear that saying “yes” to one thing sometimes also means saying “no” to another. Release the fear that your “yes” will be met with rejection or consequences. Release the fear that your authentic “yes” makes you imperfect or inherently flawed. Consider your “yes” as the doorway to everyone’s freedom and the pathway to the passionate, playful, most alive person in each of us.
Muva Lourde says, “The fear of our desires keeps them suspect and indiscriminately powerful, for to suppress any truth is to give it strength beyond endurance.” So, every time you or I deny ourselves the pleasure of feeling and then being who we truly want to be, we amplify and strengthen the things that bring us misery. When we sacrifice our joy we suppress the truth and key to not just our individual freedom, but the freedom of the generations. Do it for the generations! Don’t you fear that “yes.” Surrender to the “yes.” Be the “yes.” Flow with the “yes.” Do it for the children!