Responsibilities. That word just hits different. People’s faces come to mind. On some days, unfinished tasks literally take up space in my body. Sometimes I knock responsibilities down like Serena Williams swings her racket, knowing it’s going over the net, off to where her opponent can’t reach. Some responsibilities are small duties I shirk in the name of a stolen moment of “self-care.” My biggest responsibilities honor me and are my share of the “weight” that I carry graciously and proudly. This ongoing relationship I’ve got with accountability can be the thing keeping me and everyone who depends on me afloat. So much so that it can be easy to forget myself and my basic human needs.
Worry. That’s another word. Those are the thoughts that try their best to camp out in my prefrontal cortex like the headache they are. The future and the past are up there working out their differences at my expense. An impossible barrage of unanswered questions just pulling and pushing me around from the inside of my own body. The disrespect. My own mind betrays me and has the nerve to have me believe that the weight of the world and all of the time is on my shoulders. And then there’s you.
I just let out a big sigh. Did you? Making time for yourself doesn’t have to be either a luxury or an act of desperation. I would argue that if either feeling arises, it’s time for a change. A big one. One that puts you at the center and caters to your needs alone. It is time to put a pause on whatever life (or you) have going on “out there” that keeps trying to have a say in your peace. You can connect with the version of yourself that is most equipped to align the moments and monuments in your life with the divine. If for no other reason than to put you in a position to think clearly and make a plan.
Yes, this space to think clearly exists in the abstract corners of our minds. People meditate and pray to go there all the time. Let’s start with a tangible, dedicated, physical space for stillness and listening.
Clear the physical and mental clutter like a surgeon prepping for the operating table. Turn this space into one you can return to at will, that only belongs to you. This is your dedicated selfish space where you give yourself permission not to belong to anyone else’s opinions or expectations. This space is dedicated to you and you alone. When you are here, no one can ask you for anything you don’t have the capacity to give. When you are here no one can harm you or take anything away without your permission. You’re completely in charge and there’s no way to be wrong. This is YOUR space.
Make it a seduction. What do you need to let your guard down or shed the energetic demands of the day? I like to take a hot shower or bath with the lights low and soft music playing in the background. The smell of candles and incense triggers relaxation. I take my time applying lotion to express gratitude and care for my body. I may wrap my bare skin in a soft blanket or put on something that makes me feel beautiful and comfortable. I give myself whatever I need to trigger feelings of safety and openness and then go into my dedicated space.
“Out there” may still want what it wants, but you are here. You, your very best lover and friend, have shown up to give you all of their attention. Now that you’re here, what do you want to do? Fill yourself with all of the energy you pour out and then ask, “What do I need to be really, really satisfied? Like, satiated. How can I make the biggest impact on my purpose and joy?”
Use this dedicated space to find the part of you who is most equipped to care for you as a complete person. Return to this space and this person for guidance and leadership, over and over again.