Can we take a minute to talk about the absurdity of maintaining antiquated gender norms in the 21st Century? It’s happening. In a time when Black women get the most degrees in the country, female CEOs of Fortune 500 companies and women serving the Legislative Branch of the United States government are at an all-time high, and the gender binary itself becomes less and less of a thing, I think it’s safe to say that dinner and trash duties deserve to be liberated from gender norms.
Whomever you are, if you want to spend your day running shit and being a boss, you should have that option. If you want to nurture a meaningful relationship or cry when a film is legitimately touching, do that. We have been force-fed so many messages around duty that neither address our actual ability or leave room for our dynamic, multifaceted nature. We know our capacity for excellence doesn’t begin or end at our gender identity. We know our ability to thrive as leaders aren’t limited to or accelerated by our gender identity. We know our capacity for loving tenderness and care is limitless. So, why do we accept the weight and responsibility of an endless list of things we “should” be doing for a partner or in life because we are what we are? Let’s throw THAT in the trash and whoever is least busy at the moment can take it out. Better yet, let’s all be great and we can support someone’s domestic services business while we relax and spend quality time.
Now that the weight of 2000 years of oppression is up off of you… let’s find some common ground. Each of us has a range of energy within us that makes us who we are. On a recent recording of The Power Paradigm, we discussed the way each human being has some balance of masculine and feminine energies that ebb and flow within us according to the situations we find ourselves in. We invite you to tap into your own duality, release some of the expectations you may not even believe in, and listen to the desires of your heart. If they align with traditional norms, great! If they challenge some but not all, wonderful! If you want to break the mold entirely, fantastic! Whatever ideals you subscribe to, just let them align with the real you. That deep sense of identity is the place you can exist, full-time, to allow yourself to live and let live from a space of authentic expression.
You don’t have to take whatever was given to you because you were born into a certain form or have a certain background or people expect you to behave a certain way. This is true for any element of our intersectional identities. There is a spirit within you that can love it all and transcend it all at the same damn time. You are a divine being with a purpose, who is unbounded by any human being’s design for your life. And for goodness sake, make it a good one. Design a life that feels fair, reciprocal, restful, fulfilling, and satisfying. Get YOUR life. Harriet, Sojourner, Oprah, and Michelle want that for you.
Opinions, expectations, roles, the hats we wear, oppression, internalized repression… all some haters. What you need to do is… whatever you really want. Live, boo.