Ep #12: What Happens When You Evolve (and Need Your Relationship to Evolve, Too)


January 15, 2020

When you’ve been in the same relationship for a long time, it’s inevitable that the people within it are going to change. If you feel like you are evolving into a new version of yourself, it can be difficult to know how your relationship should change, too. Tawana brought us this excellent topic today, and we know that many people in the Evók community have similar questions about relationships and growth.

Tawana describes how she has changed over the past few years and why she has outgrown certain aspects of herself as a wife and a woman. Specifically, we talk about why women are often stuck with a lot of the labor in a relationship and what happens when we decide we don’t want to do it anymore. There is a lot of nuance in this discussion about change and partnership, so there is plenty for us to dive into.

The three of us talk about how women take up the expectations of wives and mothers and the effect it has on ourselves and our partnerships. We also discuss the crucial differences between a relationship based on positioning versus one based on true partnering. And we think about how Tawana and her partner might navigate this time of transition and rebalancing while making their relationship interactive and supportive.


What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why so many women take on the expectation society has of wives and mothers without realizing it.
  • How women often make life comfortable for everyone else while sacrificing their own time, energy, and desires.
  • Why it’s important to realize that we take on some roles or duties even though nobody asked us to do so.
  • Some of the common reactions that partners have when we tell them we need things to change and evolve.
  • The difference between a relationship that’s driven by positions rather than by partnership, and why the latter is what many of us really want.
  • How we can shift from dependence to independence and finally into true interdependence.

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